Chapter 3

♪ ♫Fifty-five

 

I have a sole album sung in Portuguese. It´s entitled INCENSO and consists of 13 songs. These were the first lyrics I’d ever written and the first melodies I’d ever composed. (Later there would be a Spanish version of this album called INCIENSO). Here are they:

 song “Fantasia” (Fantasy)

A word that comes up a lot in the poem songs of chapter 5. Fantasy is nice while it lasts. When it’s over it’s hard to accept the reality; it makes one want to make ugly faces because of how ugly it is! Somewhere in the song the lyrics go: “I don´t dance underneath the dark reality because it has a whipping rhythm!” They go on to say: “I dance on the sand, Desert rhythm, I dance in danger, Arrow rhythm, I dance in the darkness of night, It´s a waved poisonous rhythm snake, I dance in the darkness one more time, Unsafe steps rhythm, Dance with meeEEE! Rhythm, Rhythm, Rhythm, And lots of fantasy! Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya, Rhythm, Rhythm, Rhythm, Everything shines! Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya, Rhythm, Rhythm, Rhythm, Fantasy shines! Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya, You and me! Together!”.

song “Tenho Medo” (I’m Scared)

Love always makes our head spin. It’s frightening, uh! “Myself being love, An endless love, You make me believe in that, You make me believe, That the endless sky and the sea, Are smaller than me, And I find myself doing crazy things like, Sticking a ruby in my naval, I’m scared, When I say I’m going to leave, You unpack my things, When I kick you out, You convinced me otherwise, I always do what you want! It’s frightening! Hu!”

song “Tecnotolices” (Technofoolishness) 

The studio musician insisted that I couldn’t use brand names in songs without the authorized consent of the brand, like “Playboy”, but I replied that the term was being used as an adjective, that the lyrics of the song were playful and that he needn’t worry about brands! “What are these? Why are they hidden? Under your bed, These magazines? Is it my fault? No, No, No! Technofoolishness! Technofoolishness! Technofoolishness! Don’t be a Playboy! Magazines don’t excite me! No, No, No!”

song “Tal Como Eu” (Like Me)

I made two versions: a pop and an electro rock one! To a church I dragged myself to pray. A church located at the top of a high hill where I saw others praying for the “bad” in their lives to go away. Troubles of an everlasting heavy heart. For all of us I asked for a great love. When it’s LOVE it’s infinite and that’s why God accepts our opportunism: many of us only remember HIM in our bad times – we ask for help or blame HIM. In our anger lie many incomprehensible words, ingratitude and offense toward GOD. HE forgives everything because He sees that it’s our fear getting mad at Him. But what does God have to do with our human problems? When are we humans concerned about HIS problems?” “Ancient monastery, Mountain high, High like my hell, Glacial hell, Glacial, Overcast sky, Today, Sun on the altar, Sun, (God) You want to receive, Like me, A great love, A great love...”

 song “Obsessão” (Obsession) 

What is this thing called obsession? Is it a thing which always obsesses over the same thing? Is it the same thought day and night stalking around my mind? A craving for deeply wanting to know everything about someone to the smallest detail? Are “normal” people obsessed with “obsessive compulsive” people? Do “normal” people have the wrong idea about compulsive ones?  Do obsessive people fear that “normal” people will start to stalk them? How about leaving ALL these manias behind and having some fun? “Why be rational? I want to exaggerate, Total thrill! I don’t care, If madness has taken over me! I have forgotten myself, In my mind only you exist, To you I give it all! The desire to love, Rules! Rules me more, Than my own self! Obsession ex toto corde! Obsession of all my heart! Ex toto corde! Of all, all, all my heart!” (note: “Ex Toto Corde” comes from the Latin meaning “From all the heart”)

 song “Incenso” (Incense)

The album presented here gets its name from this song. This is one of the two songs dedicated to God (the other has already been presented).  What are our friends like? Some are true friends (if we are lucky enough to have them in our lives), others simply friends in “good times” and others, not even this. The point is that it is difficult to be helped – either because others don’t know how they can help or because they don’t want to help! Most people want to distance themselves from problems, even the person with the problems feels this way! In hard times where problems are always accompanied by other problems it is fundamental to look up to Heaven and believe that they will bring some good. Something good will come out of those problems! The ones that keep us awake at night, the ones that squeeze our lungs with so much pain that it becomes hard to breathe, the ones that squeeze our stomach so tightly that we can hardly eat, the ones that who make us believe that there is no hope of finding happiness again because these difficult times have killed us forever! Those problems that last sometimes years will bring us something good! One must look up High and ask for understanding. With understanding comes strength and we get up again to something glorious. “For hours, I drew thoughts, I had plenty of grey days, On High You silent, While the incense burns, I called for You, Everything was killing me, I called for You, Everything was killing me, I called, for You”

 song “Eperiências” (Experiences)

Love...is beautiful when it’s how we imagine it would be. If it isn’t, I start to complain, like in this song! “How dare you? The nerves! The guts! Giving me things, That taste like, Bad experiences! You gave me too many trucks of bad things! I am a swamp owner! There they sink! The bad experiences, The negative experiences! My ex-lover! Nevertheless...I liked it! The experiences! They gave me strong emotions! You were part of this, Unreachable goal! Highly strong emotions I want!”

 song “Exorcista” (Exorcist)

Little love devils are on the loose and aren’t scared of exorcists! “I, the witch, You, the exorcist, From my body and yours, The devil you want to expel, In that special moment, I the witch, Torments, Sparks, Bolts of lightning I launch, No doubts, You want to expel the devil from your body, You want to expel the devil from your body, You want to exorcise, Exorcist, Exorcist, Exorcist, Against the wall, I am forced by your exorcism, I feel the power of an earthquake, Your body in mine, All around everything is falling down, It’s a storm, You tear the clothes from your body, Everything is on fire, There is no doubt, You want to expel the devil from your body, You want to exorcise…”

 song “Dor” (Pain) 

The betrayals which we sometimes face are always harmful. Betrayals kick the confidence we place in the other– most of the times they give no warning signs of their intention of betrayal. Then, they don´t provide information that they have betrayed us. And later, there are no explanations as to why they have done such a thing to us! You scared pussy! Am I ok?! Of course I am! I’m even smiling! It’s not worth making scenes, right? Is the song lyric autobiographical? No! “Do you want this? Do you want this pain? I speak with others, About this pain, Pointless, Nothing goes forward, Everything goes backwards, in rewind, Everything is small compared to this pain, Pain! There is a lot of pain in me, Do you want what you gave me? I don’t feel like it, You’re the one who deserves this pain, You´re a ladies’ man, I hope you find a stupid girl, That cheats on you, And makes a fool out of you! You only deserve liars!”

song “Demais” (Too Much)

Sometimes it’s just too much...and not even then does disgrace stop at the Stop sign! The elderly in my town say, “Let there be health. The rest will resolve itself. Only death has no solution!” Our head makes the wrong choices in relationships...If we could cut off our head and throw it out without dying…that would be good! Here is an excerpt of the song lyrics: “You don’t trust love anymore, Love repeats sufferings, Repeats a detailed pain, You loved different hearts, But they were the same, Parts of me, Feel like this! Too much! It was too much! (…) Ah! It was too much! You doubt you will see the sun explode one day, You are certain to see love go away”

 song “Batismo no Sexo” (Baptism in Sex) 

They start the “act” and then become greedy wolves…“Any problem with that?” he asks. “Sex Baptism, A long time ago it was, You greedy wolf, You want love but, You’re tied to the sex, Because…Soul, Doesn’t rhyme with calm, If it becomes soulless, Yes…That’s right…Life is like that! Sex Baptism, A long time ago it was, You greedy wolf, You don’t want to lose your soul, But you deny it”

 song “AHA, sim, Gato” (AHA, yes, Tiger) 

In the current Portuguese and Spanish versions of the song, I removed the last verse which appears in the first Portuguese recording from 2004 having maintained it in the English version: “I can be all you wish, Tiger. But I’m looking for a Lion! You´re short some inches! Aha!” Let´s keep on moving. Here are some lyrics: “How would you like me to be, Tiger? Shall I kiss you? Am I your wish? Shall I dance for you? Use my body without rest on you? Use provocative lingerie? To remove it quickly? Because you’re in a hurry? AHA, AHA, AHA, yes, Tiger? How would you like me to be, Tiger? Am I a panther? With long nails? Am I aggressive?! Or shall I let you touch me?! OK Tiger!... Shall I shake my ass so? If I walk in front of you? Shall I jump into your bed? If you snap your fingers quickly? AHA, AHA, AHA, yes, Tiger? How would you like me to be, Tiger? Shall I curse or watch out my language?! Tiger...Shall I paint my eyes in shades of blue? Shall I paint my pubic hairs too?”

Continuing with the extracts of lyrics and comments, but now concerning twenty-nine English songs spread over three albums and two singles in online stores as well as fourteen ringtones available for iPhone created from fourteen of these twenty-nine songs. At the end of August of this year, I decided to cut down on my costs, including on-line stores. Now I also have to pay for the translation of this book and of course the unexpected things that should not have happened along the way – car troubles and salary cuts! I like my job and I’m very grateful that I earn over minimum wage, but at the end of the month this satisfaction smiles wryly. I need to start saving seriously! My songs are now complied in two albums (I complied them) and I only kept 4 ringtones (the other 10 I suspended temporarily)! On this I was able to go from $310 per year to $140 on costs.

“INCENSE” album – It is composed of eight songs. I was inspired by the themes written for “Incenso” (Portuguese project) which is why the names of the songs match. Here they are:

song “Aha, yes Tiger?” 

I made a ringtone! In Portuguese the direct translation would be “Aha, yes cat”. In English the best connotation for the portuguese “cat” is “tiger”! Cats! Tigers! Lions! Dragons! Sea-horses! Unicorns, Pigeons...etc....I could have put any animal in the title! The entire translation of this song in English is almost the same as the Portuguese version. Here is an extract of the English one: “Shall I kiss? Do all your wishes? Shall I dance for you? Use my body without rest on you?  Shall I wear provocative lingerie?  So I can take it off quickly? ´Cause you are in a rush? AHA, AHA, AHA, yes, Tiger? How would you like me to be, Tiger? (…) Shall I be a panther? With long nails? Shall I be wild and aggressive? Or shall I let you touch me? Oh honey…. Am I sexy? Shall I move so? Shake my ass so?(Shall I) also jump into your bed? If you snap your fingers quickly? (…) How would you like me to be, Tiger? Shall I curse? Or take care of language? Tiger? May I shade my eyes blue? May I shade my pubic hairs too?

 song “Fantasy” 

Who are the people who fantasize? Those who have little in the real world? For me to believe solely in reality would be a desperate act, a torturous act and of little interest if I want to have a good life. “Dance in the desert, you´ve gone for a long walk, You´re still in the desert of your destiny, It seems there´s no escape! Dance in danger! You try to fly away, Mortal arrows still fly beside you, It seems there´s no escape!, Dance in your worst hours! You try hard to be a winner, Everything is vanishing, It seems there´s no escape! Dance! Dance! Fantasy is your survival!, Dance! Dance! ´Til everything shines!, Dance! Dance! Fantasy is your survival ! (…) Dance! You search for love so long! Where is it? You feel a loser! Will you be able to change yourself? It seems there´s no escape! (…)We! Those who dance to forget! We ask those who have everything, Please be happy! Please be grateful! Don´t ask for more! Be happy and smile, Smile and dance with us!”

 song “Too Much” 

Sung at the open mic and in the December 7th concert. The love...always love! “Everyone deserves love but not everyone deserves to be loved, I know! Love is a sad, contradiction! You asked me so many times, To forgive you, I trust love I just don´t trust, I don´t trust myself to choose the right person to love, I don´t wanna talk about love! I don´t wanna talk about you! Are you listening, love? Or – whatever your name is! It was too much! I became selfish, I don’t wanna know if love is alone, My soul doesn’t rhyme with calm, The days became soulless, The things became uninteresting! Life, life sucks! I don’t know where love is! Shall I try to find great sex? Shall I try to find great sex? What will great sex make me forget? Me in myself…Me in myself…I´ve already forgotten, There was a time where in me, Only you existed, Love has gone away, I hope you find someone who´ll screw you! Someone unfaithful! I should be a swamp owner! I could sink that bad experience there! But love is addictive, I loved you so much, I want to remember everything”.

 song “Exorcist” 

I made a ringtone! This ringtone was a success! I think the word “exorcist” is used frequently in online search engines when searching for scary ring tones and that’s how this one was discovered! I like it! It’s creepy at the end, but I like it! “Against the wall, I ´m forced by your exorcism, I feel the power of an earthquake, Your body in mine, All around, Everything is falling down, It’s a storm, From your body, And mine clothes you undo, Oh Exorcist! What´s the scenario? It´s an exorcist and a witch! He has no doubts! He has no doubts! The devil from his body he wants to expel! He wants to exorcise! He wants to exorcise on her! They are possessed! It seems witchcraft! (…) Go somewhere out of here….go somewhere out of here… Leave this haunted castle, leave this haunted castle…You seem possessed, Go somewhere out of here, Let us spirits rest in peace! Silence!”

song “F* Your Pain” 

I made a ringtone! I sent this song via online submission to “The  Annual MusicOz Awards” in the International category. MusicOz, is an Australian music award for artists who do not have record labels or are not connected to major record labels. When the contest results were published, along with the top three places, there was another list which registered the top 100 places. This song was on that list. The studio musician told me, “That’s a good sign! We did a good job!” How can you make happiness last? And what do you do with pain? Should pain be silenced or listened to carefully allowing understanding for why it exists? Why put so much effort on worries? Fu*k it! Let’s go catch some sun, drink an ice cold beer and listen to music! Here is an excerpt of the lyrics: “Shut up! You get high, so what? Don't be a coward! You wanna feel pain? Bang your head on a wall, Bang it hard, You'll have pain, blood and problems, The downside is hearing someone say you're nuts! What do they say now? You have an addiction?! F* your pain! Don´t F* your life! F* your pain! Give it hard baby! Give it hard baby! Give it hard… Shut up! You're anorexic, so what? You don't eat, why? You know, there are countries, Where there is no food! Stop simulating hunger! Leave your abundance of food here and go there! You might not even find grass on the ground to eat! You'll be thin, like you like….The downside is that you won't be sick but you'll be hungry! What do they say now? That you have an illness that doesn’t allow you to eat?! F* your pain! Don´t F* your life!(..) Shut up! You're courageous, do you think? Look at the trees being cut down, Years growing, for what? Look how they remain motionless while they are being cut down! Why keep the trees themselves alive if their space is measured and limited? Tell me: if you were a tree, Would you kill yourself before they cut you down? Why live? You're scared, right? F* your pain! Don´t F* your life! (…) I don't wanna hurt, but I am, I fight hard to get something out of life, I'm exhausted, I need you to be strong, I need to see heroes, I need strength to keep on fighting, I don´t wanna hurt, This is not my song, It´s my exhaustion”.

song “Technofoolishness”

I made a ringtone! I sang this song at the open mic! This version is very loyal to the Portuguese version with the same title although with a very different melody. Foolishness in techniques applied on how to make-you-love-me-more or techniques applied to make love seem like a foolishness?  “What, what are these? Why are Magazines hidden, Under your bed? It´s my fault? No, no, no way! It´s not my fault! Stop provoking me! Stop provoking me! It´s technofoolishness! Don´t be a Playboy! Magazines don´t excite me! Don´t excite me! Find another way! Find another way! You say: you want me! I inspire your technofoolishness! Stop your techniques! I say: I´m not easy! Stop showing me your will! Stop showing me those magazines! It´s technofoolishness!”

song “Incense” 

I made two versions: one pop and the other rock. The studio musician was surprised by this song: “The song starts with the chorus?!” he asked questioningly. As if he were asking: Do you think this is the right thing to do?! The incense burns... Does God listen to our prayers? It is said that sometimes He does not listen to our prayers because He’d rather give us something better than what we are asking for... “I call for you My Lord, I call for your help! My eyes burn! I see a sun about to explode! I see my life! I can´t see anymore! My eyes burn! The sun is going to explode! You want to receive true love, Just like me My Lord, All you get are complaints, All you get is pain from human kind, All I can offer you are the many thoughts, That I drew on many grey days (…) My Lord you suffer, You remain silent, I suffer I pray so loud, Incense burns for so long…Ancient monastery, high hill! High like my hell! A glacier hell under a cloudy sky, At the alter – Sun, For all I asked a true love, Incense burns for so long…”

“SISYPHEAN”! I found this word when I got the idea (who knows where it came from) to search for rare English words. “Sisyphean” was on the list. I immediately liked the word and looked up its meaning.

The album “SISYPHEAN”consists of 5 songs which are:   

 song “Sisyphean” 

How can the days we are living today in the world be described? Mother Nature suffering in the world; we, children of the Earth being more and more ungrateful and our Father Creator in Heaven thinking, “You want more, faster and bigger…Natural catastrophes are getting worse and spreading throughout the entire planet and you, humans, insist in maintaining the same attitudes…Are you stubborn?…Is it so hard to learn the value of the comfort you have? You always want more, faster and bigger! When is it enough for you? Watch out...be wise…you are destroying the Kingdom I created. I’m going to give you some extra time...use it well!” Here is an extract of the lyrics: “Do you know the myth of king Sisyphus? After his death Sisyphus was condemned to roll a huge rock up a steep hill, Before he could reach the top of the hill, The rock would always roll back down, Forcing him to begin again.....again….again….eternally…Humans! The only race capable of smiling! Humans smile while squandering, All their natural resources! Nature´s wounds became, An exhibition room of human stupidity! Sisyphean World....Sisyphean World.... Sisyphean....Near a great evolution! Near a great destruction! People! You are billions…Save the nature! Save the nature! Say thousands of you….We need more! We need more! Say almost all the billions, Humans have a winning goal, That put them in a hole, They don´t stop digging! Sisyphean World.... Sisyphean World....Sisyphean.... Near a great evolution! Near a great destruction! Humans accelerate new engines, New devices are taken, Subatomic particles are awakened, Abundant sea life is no longer seen, Faded flowers surround us, Nature´s guardian angels, Weep long complaints to God”.

 song “Times” 

I made a ringtone! This song was sung at the open mic and at the December 7th concert! This song is sensual...very hot! “Out there are organized, Schemes to achieve happiness, They don´t fit me anymore, Or never did fit me, My pores sweat blood, How many times will it happen?, (…) Do you want me to make love to you? Or do you want to rape me? Feign rape! I want you! Do you want to do it on the floor? Or in a Porsche? Or in the shower? You ask my favorite position! Are you talking about intellectual positions? Of course not! How many times will it happen?”

 song “Hell” 

How does one live this thing called love? Is it really love? Or is it psychological dependence? Is it fear of being alone? Is it a social demand? Or is it just a way of spending time in the best possible way? Or is it being completed by a soul mate? “What do I see? I see birds fly, I see airplanes fly, I see couples fly inside an alien philosophy, They have no awareness, No awareness of each other, A fear of being alone, Is all that keeps them together, Where are you? Don´t leave me here! Where ten thousand hell winds blow, Hell is my witness, I won´t have peace of mind, ´Till I find a greater Love, ´Till I find you, Days of fury! Days of lonely hopes! A haunted castle is my heart, My hopes bring out skeletons in motion, Only to bite my devotion to love, Where are you? Don´t leave me here! Where ten thousand hell winds blow!”

 song “Moonlight” 

I made a ringtone! This song was sung at the December 7th concert! The song goes something like this: “Run into the Moonlight! Bring the unknown to you! You have a lucky star! Trust yourself!” Running... running in the rain on a hot day is good...it is also good to be hit-and-run with a stormy rain! Have you ever left the house without an umbrella and suddenly it starts to pour? ” (…)Your ghosts obey you, They turn into dancers, Strippers or dummy ghosts, Depending on your mood! So choose! Run! Keep on moving! Never, ever give up! (…)Stay focused, Don´t worry, About anything else, Don´t care if the sea, Floods the road today! (…)People! Relax! Relax now! Relax for a while! Let´s take a Jacuzzi! Feels good! Feels good! Let´s take a Jacuzzi!”

 song “Sky” 

When you believe that help must come from others more than from yourself, you’re screwed! Others may, at best, function as a vitamin, but not as nourishment. But there´s no doubt that living life alone is not a good thing and in fact, we need each other. In occasions of extreme pain, distress, disorientation, devastation... help is heaven-sent, and forces, circumstances, people will emerge to aid us. God worries about us even when we do not worry about HIM. God pays attention to us. When HE wants to be noticed, He has many ways of doing it: the impossible becomes possible and from the desperate loneliness of abandonment, an invincible force arises! The road to destiny will be reached. God comes to help us. That does not mean there will be no suffering. It should be seen as intensive emotional training in preparation for your destiny and that way your future will be bright and not a heavy cross burdening you. My people used to say that our burdens are given in terms of what we can endure. I think that when we cannot carry the weight of our burden we can always go on strike! Or go on a vacation! Or go shopping! “Without love I feel I´m in a rough cave, A cave with no breach, There´s no help, I can´t get out, No one can get inside, It´s a nightmare! This sky is blazing…This sky is not amazing….Help me please! Loneliness has infinite dimensions, It´s mid-point can not be calculated, The infinite has no mid-point, It´s endless, It´s endless! This sky is blazing…This sky is not amazing….Help me please! (…) My feelings burn inside of me, They burn causing deep wounds, I protect my wounds with a band aid, It´s not enough, This sky is blazing…This sky is not amazing….Help me please! Help me.... with your love!”

 SINGLE: “Destiny Versus Holidays” 

I made a ringtone! I sang this song at the open mic! I love this one! This song is totally autobiographical! It was a super success at the open mic! “Destiny I used to trust you, I wish I could punch you in the face, Even though you feel no pain, I wish I could punch you anyway, Destiny you owe me some happiness, At least pay me some good holidays! Destiny you owe me some happiness, At least pay me some good holidays! Nothing that I do is right, A bad amulet is my life, Days are darker than a cursed hell, Bring me good things (…) Destiny, pay me some damn good holidays! Some damn good holidays!”

 SINGLE "Strong Wrong" 

Sung at the December 7th concert! This song was composed in June and recorded in the music studio a few days before I flew to London for the open mic. I was bored with life because since the third week of April I was placing ads to try to get musicians to be able to perform in London in August. It was already June and I was apprehensive because the musician who had appeared at that time was proving to be unfit for the job. The open mic guitarist appeared in July, but I did not know he was going to come and save me! So, in June I was upset and therefore had to devise a song where the phrase "Fu*k you!” had to showed up! I was really upset!  “How did I get here?! I´m fed up! This is a strong, wrong shit! I have nothing! Not even a stupid life! I have nothing! I´m not you! Here I am…facing the void! Here I am…with my hypnotic thoughts! Here I am…facing the void! I don´t say fuck you!...´cause for you I wish only bad things.”

About my album "EXTREME": these were the first songs I’d ever written in English! All other songs in English were written after this album of 14 songs. Here they come!

 song "Divine Law" 

I made a ringtone with this song! This one along with the song already mentioned "F* your Pain" was submitted to the Australian "9th Annual MusicOz Awards" in the International category, having been also among the top 100 in a non-numbered list! This planet Earth, so full of things, including stupid human things, and humans searching with space probes for more things on other planets! I think the human race must be the butt of a joke in conversations between aliens! “Someone says it´s now or never, But now is only what you now see, Now is just what you now are, Never is only your opinion now, This world, this world, So full of imprudence, This world, this world, So full of silliness, This world, this world…If from nothing comes nothing, And if this world is full of things, Where do they come from? This world, Is so full of things, With humans searching, For more things on other planets! Is there a divine law about this?”

 song "Darkness" 

When darkness invades the soul, do you know what you should do? Sleep! Since you can’t see anything anyway! Hopefully you don’t suffer from insomnia! If you do…listen to music! Beforehand, do this: silence the panicked voices in your mind, close your eyes and laugh out loud before the destructive chaos that is invading your life! Stand firm in the belief that what is happening is a blessing and not a curse! Believe that it is the beginning of something good! Then listen to music and eat something! And calm down! “The light of the darkness, Makes everyone see, Your weaknesses, Physically you´re visible to their eyes, But it takes so long for them, To understand you, It takes so many visible words from you (…) Be aware of your weaknesses, The darkness is there!, Prepare yourself!, To know yourself better! (…) If you don´t love yourself, As you will learn, The human heart can be hard on you, Especially your heart, You torture your mind, You punish your body, You hate yourself, You´re afraid of yourself, Afraid of hurting yourself even more, Darkness has open its arms to you, Don´t fall into its hands!”

song "Splendor" 

Love is an addictive thing, is not it ? “When you touch me, The sea offers flights, When you touch me, The wind transports skies, When you touch me, The water reflects love lights, When you give me pleasure, I want your love for ever, ´Cause I want your love for ever, I suffer for your love, Pleasure curses love, Love without pleasure, Doesn´t last, The splendor of the curse, Pleases me! Addicts me!”

 song "Thing" 

I made a ​​ringtone out of this one! This song was sung at the December 7th concert! The word “problems” appears a lot in this song, so much so that the studio musician calls this song “Problems”! This song is about problems…Dear problems! If you need help, just ask! You know you can count on me! After all, we’ve known each other for a long time! “Your rules are so totally logical, That when I wake up, You wake up with me, Good morning problems! How are you? Why, why are you feeling so grand? Problems! You´re a damned, damned, damned, damned, damned…thing! Go straight to hell I pray for that, But you prefer to stay by me! Even in my dreams, You´re a vampire, You suck my energy, You´re worse than a curse! Problems! I allow you to exist, Maybe I need you as you need me, Maybe I´m a problem too! Problems must stay together! Let´s stay, let´s stay together! Problems! I think I´m cool just like you! Look at me! I think I´m cool just like you! Oh, yeah!”

 song "Madness" 

Logic exists and she even speaks! She speaks of what she observes and according to that warns us and alerts us to what will befall us. But who likes to be called to reason? “Now my emotions spell depressions, I love you but you are killing me, I must leave you and that also kills me, What shall I do? Loving you was madness, Reason was helpless! It was wild freedom! And a mess! Oh yes! I loved it! Until I could no more! Oh yes! It was wild freedom and a mess! Why couldn´t you avoid hurting me? Why couldn´t you fight yourself? Why do you say you love me? Please! I must leave you!”

 song "Exotic" 

I made a ​​ringtone! This ringtone was a success! Well ...it's exotic! I would love to have a fantastic and exotic life! Incidentally super awesome and super exotic! “Rolling with hope, Climbing steep slopes, Get future meanings, Forget past feelings, What can I say, When I see this is where my past choices brought me, But they have the power, To take the truth out of my heart, I must find where I belong, I don´t belong here , Walking on the roof, Expecting no proof, Everyone is insecure, Why be double sure (…) Certainties are the same, Walking on the roof is the same as, walking on the ground, I can have a nasty fall, Pain is always there, There´s no secure castle, I only have my luck to trust (…) Exotic, Romantic, Fantastic my life will be!”

 song "Love" 

I made a ​​ringtone! There is so much in the world written about it...about love! “Everything has an ending, Everything can be crushed to pieces, Every great thing can be ground to dust, But I can not grind to dust, The whistling of the wind in the trees, I can not crush to pieces, The air that I breath so....Not everything breaks (…) Everything has an ending, Yes words always matter, Yes spells can be broken, People break up all the time so...Everything has an ending, Words shouldn´t always matter, Love spells shouldn´t be broken, Only bad things should have an ending (…) Love, love, love has no ending, ´Cause with what, ´Cause with what, Would I replace love?”

 song "Slightly Myself

I made ​​two versions: one rock and another dance club. I made a ringtone of this latter version. I sung the rock version at the December 7th concert. Do you like chocolate fondue? “(…) I hunt anti-banality, I want anti-reality, I remake reality , I get reality drunk,♥ I remake reality... I inebriate reality, I drown every dull thing, I dream about you and me only! I bond every runaway dream, ♥ I dream about you and me only! I´m in love, I´m slightly myself, I´m near love, I love more, I`m near love, I´m slightly myself ♥ I´m in love ♥ When love is over, will I believe that it´s over? When love is over, will I be afraid? How badly ruined will the chocolate fondue taste? When love is over, will I hate you? ♥ How badly ruined will the chocolate fondue taste?”

 song "Hypermystic" 

I made a ​​ringtone! Emotions, hearts, charm, spells... blah blah blah... Anyway, love again! “Your eyes are on me, My heart is in you, Perfect emotions are on fire, Obvious is this, You´re charmed by me! I´m charmed by you! You´re bewitched by me! I`m bewitched by you! It´s powerful, It´s mystic, More like hypermystic!”

 song "Protector" 

Sometimes there is no one left to help us, not even ourselves. And when we no longer believe in anything, God believes in us and intervenes. “(…) My Lord, Protect me, From myself, What help can I expect, From myself, Protect me, Be my protector, My Lord protect me, Please my Lord, I´m always suffering, I suffer in love I suffer in pain, I have no rest, Protect me, Be my protector, My Lord protect me, Please my Lord, I make such big mistakes, I give You no rest, My Lord there are so many strong voices! I can hardly know myself! Protect me, Be my protector, My Lord protect me, Please my Lord, My Lord forgive my ingratitude, A lot of times I called You luck, You always answered me! Before I even called You, Thank you my Lord”

 song "Spirit" 

I made a ​​ringtone! The word "spirit" here refers to the soul and not to a ghost… “My spirit, My soul, Very strong, Defeats thunderstorms, Feel it! (…) Invincible! Impossible! But invincible, Is what I try to be!”

 song "True" 

Had an honorable mention in a prestigious North American contest! It was submitted over the internet! The contest accepts submissions from the four corners of the globe! They sent me an honorable mention through post, you can read it! Here it is: "Honorable Mention presented to Ninfa Artemis in recognition of having your original composition" True" among top 1500 of the 17th Annual Billboard World Song Contest. Only the highest quality songs make it to the top. This honor demonstrates the talent and dedication it takes to write a "hit song"!" La-La-La...I feel like singing! I always feel better when I read this honorable mention. An extract of the lyrics: “A great weight is on my mind, It´s a phase that signals heavy burden, Heavy burden! What´s the weight of truth? How heavy is truth? My heart is full of sadness, Everything I touch is killed by this heavy heart, Is killed by this heavy heart, Is it true? Is this the truth? That the only salvation, Of the defeated, Is expecting no salvation?”

 song "Extreme" 

The last song to be presented here! So many songs and I love them all! “I’m undergoing, A deep change! I´m changing, Without choice! Of the change! My heart is torn by fears, I´m alone in this change, I´m alone, I´m scared, I run to extreme pain, Excessive pain, I´m tired, When will it be over?”

 

Let’s move on to the next chapter! The following chapter (chapter 4) tells the story of me and the musician I exchanged emails with. You’re going to love it, especially when you get to the dialogues with me and my close friend! She’s unique...I like her.

 

MY SONGS !

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